And So It Goes

I was sitting in music fundamentals today and the professor hands me a piece of music and it is these lyrics. I have sung this song in the past and it reminded me of my wonderful days in Tacoma Youth Chorus.
These lyrics are so special and I remember the first time I ever heard them I was in tears. They are so Beautiful!!!! So here are the lyrics!

In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong. To heal the wounds from lovers past, until a new one comes along. I spoke to you in cautious tones; you answered me with no pretense. And still I feel I said to much. My silence is my self defense. And every time I've held a rose it seems I've only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose. But if my silence made you leave, then that would be my worst mistake. So I will share this room with you. And you can have this heart to break. And this is why my eyes are closed it's just as well for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes and you're the only one who knows. So I would choose to be with you. That's if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too. And you can have this heart to break. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows.

I feel like this song says a lot about me. I know that I have been hurt in the past and yes mostly by a certain guy that wont be named and it took me a long time to get over it. (To heal the wounds form lovers past, until a new one comes along). I have let go of my past and am looking to the future and I know that God has amazing things in store for my life! I am loving it here at Central in the Musical Theatre department and yes I want to follow my goals and dreams for my life. But I also want someone to share my life with. Someone who will be there for me when I most need them. Someone to hold me when I cry cause I didn't get the part I wanted or someone to just be anywhere with. I know I am only 18 almost 19 and I am still so young to be thinking about this. But the truth is.... when are we old enough to start thinking about this??? Who can tell us when we are ready to love and find that special someone??? The world certainly can't to do that! The only one who can is God! God can guide our lives anywhere we choose to go!

But even though I want to find that special person, I am terrified. My past has given me a terrible fear of having my heart broken. So when I start to like someone I often have the tendency to shy away and get quiet cause I am afraid of liking them and I am afraid that they might actually like me back. Whenever God decides to bring this person to me He knows that this person will have to be patient while he breaks down my walls. 
But I know that when the right person does come along I wont have to be afraid cause God will work it all out for the best! Even if that means that I get my heart broken again.

I am sorry that I have written so much but i just felt inspired!

"Cast all your cares on Him, cause He cares for you!" Philippians 4:6
<3 Nikki

My inspiration

"For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." Romans 6:14 NIV
"After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God." Romans 6:14 The Message

After doing my Bible study this morning I was inspired to share what I discovered. Some people may ask the question of "God has forgiven every sin so why do we need to not sin??" Well in a way that is true. God has covered our every sin. We don't want sin to have a say in the choices we make from day to day. We need to throw ourselves into Gods word and to try and learn more about Him. And we need to ask him for help in everything. But we should want to live in a way that is pleasing to him! We don't want to take God for granted and use him. He loves us and he wants us to strive to be more like him every day. He wants us to talk to him just like we would talk to our friends. He wants us to confide in him and trust in him with our every issue and problem or every joy and happiness! True happiness comes from the Lord. Circumstances don't dictate our happiness... We could be having the worst day and everything could be going wrong.... but we could still be "happy".

Also a friend of mine was having a rough night... so some of us sat there and we just read the Bible. It gave all of us unconditional comfort. God knew exactly what we needed and He was there to supply that need. In that same way God will be there to supply my every need whenever I need Him, which is all of the time :). All we have to do is pray and ask God for His will in our lives and then He will help us through any difficult time. Whether it is heartbreak, or abuse, or temptation or anything that you can think of. God is there for you!

If you are reading this... thanks for reading my thoughts :)

<3 Nikki